Donations are ‘Lush’ for hairdressing training academy
14th June 2021
A good whistle can often come in handy
21st June 2021
It’s the summer it’s the West Country and suddenly friends and relatives you haven’t seen since waaay before lockdown decide it might be ‘nice’ to come visit for a night …or two? Great. But what’s the worst thing an expectant guest can say? Apart from the fact that they’d like to come that is! I’m joking a weekend I can just about handle but I did once have a friend I hadn’t seen for several years asked if she could come and stay with her two children, both under five, for 2 weeks whilst building work was going on at her house! The first time she came, with one child, was bad enough. Unfortunately the poor mite cried was teething and cried non-stop all weekend so none of us got any sleep. She wasn’t even deterred when I told her my spare bedroom was being decorated and volunteered to camp in the garden! She never did come so presumably a better friend came up with a better offer …but we’re still friends.
Then there are those who want to come during the week when you are both working.
“We’ll be no trouble,” they say. “ We’ll keep out of your way.” “We want to explore so we’ll be out and about every day.” Except it rains and they’re not and as well as expecting dinner they want lunch too!!! And if they do go out they want to take a packed lunch, which they are ‘happy’ to prepare themselves filling the house with the smell of boiled eggs at 10 at night. Then come the evening they see the wine rack as a challenge and are deeply disappointed when you turn in at 9.30 as you do on a school night! Then there’s the guest who wants to bring the dog and even when you tell them you have a cat they still aren’t put off saying all sorts of things like,
“Oh he’s old/ blind /his back legs have gone he can hardly run.” Except when he comes his cataracts miraculously disappear, his hearing is suddenly clear as a bell and he remembers his glory days and turns into a racing whippet. Worse still he’s not happy in his basket on the flagstone floor downstairs,
“He’ll only sleep with me in the bed” they tell you with a pitiful look.
The last time this happened to me my Eddicat got his own back and sent the dog home with fleas!
Don’t get me wrong I love dogs and have two lots of friends with mutts. Ted will only sleep in the bedroom … but on the floor in his basket. That’s fine. But Jack likes to sleep in the bed. Also fine as his staff quite happily bring their own bedding. So all doable. No what puts me in a spin is what they can and cant eat. Not the dogs their staff. This one wont eat any veg only peas, another no garlic, no tomatoes, no red meat etc. etc. Again all doable ..well the no garlic is a bit tricky for me but nevertheless doable.
But just when you think you are home and dry comes the,
“Oh and my wife/husband is vegan, dairy and gluten free!”
WHAAAT??? Of course if it’s for medical reasons you understand. It’s the fashion eaters that get me. So you scour the Internet for recipes and do the best you can with tofu, couscous and coconut milk only to find when you put the nuts and olives out,
“Sorry nut allergy did he/she not tell you?”
Probably easier to say,
“Sorry we’re not here that weekend!”
